...when I grow up!
Is that even a word?
Nope. Merriam says I made it up.
I guess I am
full of angst, then.
(frankly, I think "angst-ridden" is more colorful)
FULL OF ANGST.
Surely by now you are asking why?
I have no answer for you.
I have some possibilities.
- It could be hormones because, well, I have them and sometimes I think they go out of whack.
- It could be because it is January 3rd and I was in bed flat-out sick the 1st and the 2nd.
- It could be number two ADDED to the fact that I have all these dreams and goals for 2012 that are now having trouble getting off the ground.
- It could be because I cannot decide if I should continue doing some things...like blogging and...well, other things. ;-)
- It really could just be that I'm recovering from whatever it was that blindsided me health-wise, and stupidly-decided-to-have-a-Dr.-Pepper-at-Mom's-house-at-1:30-in-the-afternoon-when-I-KNOW-that-if-I-have-that-kind-of-caffeine-after-noon-I-will-not-be-able-to-sleep-and-here-I-sit-with-my-mind-racing-a-million-miles-an-hour-making-myself-crazy...
I think that's it.
All of the above with an emphasis on #5.
But the blogging thing too.
I read so many blogs out there.
So many blogs that are
(and who are written by FRIENDS - people I actually KNOW, so I can't tell myself that these aren't real people!)
and beautiful writing.
I have none of those things here.
WHATEVER I FEEL
WHATEVER DAY IT MAY BE
tickles my fancy that moment.
I should be more organized...
(at english, apparently)
To be honest, I do not want to spend the
necessary time to be those things.
I just want to post words on a blog the way
an artist spatters paint on a canvas.
And people come flocking
to figure out if she is
Or is she a genius?