UGH! I Just Don't Know What I Want To Be...

...when I grow up!

I'm angst-ridden.

Is that even a word?

Angst-ridden.

Angstridden?

Nope.  Merriam says I made it up.

I guess I am 

full of angst, then.

(frankly, I think "angst-ridden" is more colorful)

FULL OF ANGST.

Surely by now you are asking why?

I have no answer for you.

HOWEVER;

I have some possibilities.

1. It could be hormones because, well, I have them and sometimes I think they go out of whack.
2. It could be because it is January 3rd and I was in bed flat-out sick the 1st and the 2nd.
3. It could be number two ADDED to the fact that I have all these dreams and goals for 2012 that are now having trouble getting off the ground.
4. It could be because I cannot decide if I should continue doing some things...like blogging and...well, other things. ;-)
5. It really could just be that I'm recovering from whatever it was that blindsided me health-wise, and stupidly-decided-to-have-a-Dr.-Pepper-at-Mom's-house-at-1:30-in-the-afternoon-when-I-KNOW-that-if-I-have-that-kind-of-caffeine-after-noon-I-will-not-be-able-to-sleep-and-here-I-sit-with-my-mind-racing-a-million-miles-an-hour-making-myself-crazy...

*GASP*

I think that's it.

All of the above with an emphasis on #5.

But the blogging thing too. 

 

I read so many blogs out there.

So many blogs that are 

SO GOOD

(and who are written by FRIENDS - people I actually KNOW, so I can't tell myself that these aren't real people!)

with 

PRETTY PICTURES

and beautiful writing.

I have none of those things here.

It's 

JUST ME

saying 

WHATEVER I FEEL

on 

WHATEVER DAY IT MAY BE

about

WHATEVER SUBJECT 

tickles my fancy that moment.

I should be more organized...

more to-the-point...

more BETTER. 

(at english, apparently)

To be honest, I do not want to spend the 

necessary time to be those things.

I just want to post words on a blog the way

an artist spatters paint on a canvas.

SPLAT!

And people come flocking 

to figure out if she is 

CRAZY-MAD?

Or is she a genius?

Just Amy